Should I admit that I don't remember much about Bruce or the Q&A or anything else? Why? Because I only stopped laughing long enough to convince him that I was an "actor" so I could come up on stage and make a fool of myself.
That's right. Bruce asked for people who had acted and somehow my hand went up. The sum of my acting experience, less working an occasional haunt during Halloween season can be read about here.
Then I had second thoughts and my hand started sinking a bit. As much as it was unlikely he would pick me, I started feeling chicken. That's when my friend basically grabbed my hand, yanked it back into the air, waved and pointed and did who knows what else... which got Bruce's attention.
He pointed at me. "Who, me?" I looked around nervously and stood up. He asked me if I had ever acted... I stammered something about having been an extra a few times. All sense was gone from my addled brain. I couldn't have said another thing as I squirmed and hoped he'd change his mind and pick someone else. I know how merciless Bruce can be to his fans.
I didn't squirm off the hook. Off I went down to the stage, cursing my friend as I went. Luckily she had her iPhone because the first thing I did when Bruce came on stage was promptly drop and break my camera.
I was completely unaware of the 849 other people in the room. I had to watch Bruce and concentrate completely. Not because I had the good sense to get stage fright, but because I knew I was in for it.
So we played a little game illustrating how frustrating it is to have your dialogue changed seconds before shooting a scene. I'm sure I made a fool of myself, which is probably the point of the whole thing. I wasn't trying to impress Bruce, just wanted to make it through without falling off the stage and breaking my neck or anything else potentially embarrassing.
But I'm thinking I need to randomly text my friend with "Spinach-chin" a few times now and then... just because.
What was the dialogue? I couldn't tell you. The minute I walked off that stage, it was gone. I could watch a video of it to see how bad it really was, but I don't want to know. I hate hearing my voice recorded and I shouldn't admit to having drank a half bottle of champagne before the event, which probably made me even more unintelligible.
"Hey, Spinach-chin! Go down to the woods, take a left and drown yourself in the river..."
It was something like that. I think I almost got it the third time through before he kicked me off the stage.
I know the usual questions were asked, I know he teased the crowd mercilessly, and I know that I hardly stopped laughing for a moment until the movie began.
Well worth the money. Always see Bruce Campbell when he comes to your town. It's good for your soul.
Photos are borrowed from my awesome friend Teresa. SPINACH-CHIN!
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